I Like This One ..........

One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the window was wound down.

'I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car', said the male driver.

'No way, get stuffed', replied the boy.

How about a bag of lollies and £10?' asked the driver

'I said no way', replied the irritated youngster.

'What about a bag of lollies and FIFTY QUID, eh?' quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy.

'No, I'm not getting in the fricken car!' answered the boy

'OK, I know what you want, I'll give you £100 and a bag of lollies', the driver offered.

'NO,' screamed the boy.

'What will it take to get you into the car?' asked the driver with a long sigh.

The boy replied, 'Listen Dad, you bought the bloody Skoda, you live with it.'

Pole Dancer .................

Old Occupations 1

"To "put to the horn" in old Scots law; was to denounce as a rebel and outlaw for non-appearance at a court to answer a summons; the culprit was proclaimed at the Great Cross in Edinburgh, together with three blasts of a horn and other formalities. A similar process was in vogue in executions on property for judicially established debts."