Saturday, January 26, 2008

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen able, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers aren't watered,
there is still only one cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favour, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Good Bye Scruffy ...

O Give thanks to the lord,

Call on his name,

Make known his deeds among the peoples.

(1 Chronicles 16:8)

Last night our cat passed away. She had been ill for a few months now. A eight year stray who had found a home after so many years in the wild.

She had picked us as her friends and now we say Good Bye.

Friday, January 04, 2008

What's wrong buddy?

Jim, Dave and Eric die and arrive at the gate, St Paul explains to them:

"Heaven is a very big place and you need a car to get around. The car
you get depends solely on how faithfull you were to your
spouse while you were alive"

Jim was married for 15 years and cheated on his wife 3 times so he got a city golf.

Dave was married 20 years and cheated on his wife once so he got a BMW.

Eric was married for 50 years and never cheated on his wife so he got a Rolls Royce.

Jim and Dave were very envious of Eric!

A couple of months later Jim and Dave see Eric sitting on the pavement crying...

Dave asks: "What's wrong buddy?"

Eric replies: "I just saw my wife"

Jim asks: "So? why are you crying?"

Eric says: "She was on a skateboard!"