Saturday, March 31, 2007

Finding my past.

Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to trace my past. Well that is the short version.

Now the long version :

I have tried many times to find my family history but have always come to a full stop. Well a few weeks ago one of my cousins was trying to start and as he had not got very far I said I would help ! I looked through all the family papers I had and got quite alot of useful info but then Full Stop. So I asked some one to look into for me and they have come up with lots of goodies. The cost is not bad and you can have a running total and stop whenever you like.




I am well into the Victorian Era and may even go futher back.

I still spend hours on the net searching myself but that's the enjoyment of looking into your past, and I am sure there is more surprises in the cupboard.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Game of Monopoly

In 1935, Charles Darrow was an unemployed salesman in Germantown Pennsylvania. At that time vast numbers of people in the United States were unemployed during the Great Depression, and there were no jobs to be had of any kind.



Read the full story here



This is a interesting Blog, have a look around.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Vet's Office.

A woman brought a very limp duck to the vet's office.

As she lays her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet duck Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.

"The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the lab and led it out of the exam room.

He returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot.

The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.


The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

She screamed, "£1000!"..."£1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £60, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £1000."

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Time for a chat !!!!

Over the past few months I having been writing a new web page. Things have been going ok, but now I come to the boring bits. The tidy up and the meta tags (!), but hopefully it wont be too long before I replace the old with new.


Below is a preview of the layout, any comments would be welcome.






Click on image to enlarge.

The history of our house is going well. My friends down the road have lent me some documents and they have been very useful. I am finding that a little guess work is in order as so much time has passed from then and now.



If you read my Blog (and hopefully there is atleast one) please leave a comment or email me from "View my complete profile" page.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Raisin Bread ......

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes
to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day
a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk
and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter.
Noticing the length of her skirt ( or lack thereof ) and
the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.
" I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely.
The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach
the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf.

The young man standing almost directly beneath her
is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised
he would. Once she descends the ladder he muses that
he really should get two loaves, as he is having company for
dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one
of the other male customers notices what was going on.
Thinking quickly he requests his own loaf of raisin
bread so he can continue to enjoy the view.

With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems
to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty
soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread,
just to see the clerk climb up and down.
After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking
that she is really going to have to try the bread herself.

Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and
fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices
an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring
up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells
at the elderly man,,, " Well,,, Is yours raisin , too ???"
" No," stammers the old man,,,, " but it's a-quiverin " !!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

History of Our House .....




I am trying to find out the history of our house and who lived here before us.


I have bought a copy of the 1901 census of london and hopefully I will get some information to help me.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Year of the Boar.




Feburary 18th 2007 is the year of the boar.





People born in the Year of the Boar are honest and tolerant and make good friends, but tend to expect the same from everyone else, and more often than not they end up disappointed. They thrive in the arts as entertainers.





Famous people born in the Year Of The Boar:
Bamber Gascoigne, Dudley Moore, David Bowie, Elton John Gerry Rafferty


This site will tell you more about this great event, which I witnessed while serving in the Armed Forces in Hong Kong.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Police Road Safety Video

I received this video by email and I found it funny !!!


Thursday, January 25, 2007

Snow ...

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today You must park ..." Then the power goes out.

Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says .. "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Old Prospector and the Young Gunslinger.

The Old Prospector and the Young Gunslinger. An old prospector walked his tired old mule into a western town one day. He'd been out in the desert for months without a drop of whiskey. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his clothes, a young gunslinger walked out of the saloon. He had a revolver in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, and he looked at the old prospector and laughed. Then he said, "Now tell me, old man, have you ever danced?"
The old prospector looked up at him and said "No, I never did dance, I just never did want to." A small group had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now." And he started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector was hopping around and everyone was laughing.
The gunslinger fired his last bullet, then holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old prospector reached up on his mule, pulled out his shotgun, and cocked the hammers, making a clicking sound the gunslinger knew well. Every thing got real quiet. The gunslinger turned around and was looking at both barrels aimed at his chest. The old prospector asked him, "Now tell me, sonny, did you ever kiss the asshole of a mule?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard, then said "No, but I've always wanted to."

Lesson: OLD GUYS RULE!!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Saturday, January 06, 2007

RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though..
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"



Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Famous Belgian - Plastic Bertrand





Plastic Bertrand (real name Roger Jouret) was born on 24 February 1958 in Brussels, Belgium. He had a massive hit in 1977 with "Ca Plane Pour Moi" and probably remains one of the most famous Belgians to this date even though he has now disappeared into obscurity.

And here are the English lyrics .....



Wham! Bam! my cat Splash
lies on my bed with his tongue puffed out
by drinking all my whisky.
As for me, not enough sleep, drained, persecuted,
I had to sleep in the gutter
where I had a flash
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
in four colours

Allez-oop! One morning
a darling came to my home,
a cellophane puppet with Chinese hair,
a plaster, a hangover,
drank my beer in a large rubber glass
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
like an Indian in his igloo

This life’s for me, this life’s for me
This life’s for me me me me me
This life’s for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s for me

Allez-oop! The chick**, what a gas!
what a vibration!
to be sent on the door mat
filed, ruined, drained, filled
You are the King of the divan!
she says to me in passing
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I am the King of the divan

This life’s for me, this life’s for me
This life’s for me me me me me
This life’s for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s for me

Allez-oop! Don't mind, don't worry
Don't affect me
It’s not today
that the sky will fall on my head
and I'll come unstuck
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s for me

Allez-oop! my chick has gone away,
flew away, finally had enough, to break
the sink, the bar, leaving me alone
like a large jerk
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
I've put my foot in it

This life’s for me, this life’s for me
This life’s for me me me me me
This life’s for me
Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo!
This life’s for me
This life’s for me, this life’s for me
This life’s for me me me me me




And if you want to sing along here is a Karaoke version.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Dean Martin.

Dean Martin had his own TV show many years ago. I remember watching it alot as a young lad. I do not remember this clip but it is funny.